I woke up early today. I worked out and I read, embracing the stillness as my household slumbered. And as I carved out this precious handful of moments to myself, indulging in the things that matter to me and make my heart smile, I remembered – I matter.
I’ve been struck lately by how full my hands are. I am not bemoaning my lot nor complaining about my load, just commenting on the current situation. Full hands, full of good things. Good things that do however require labour, my time and my effort to ensure that life ticks along at the desired, required pace. Meals need to be made, clothes washed, home tidied, children amused and loved and looked after and all sorts. And as I crawled into bed later than I hoped last night after making lunch boxes and tidying up the debris of the day, I wondered – will this be my lot going forwards? Always last to bed, and first to rise?
Regardless if that is true for forever or true for now, I am recognising increasingly that I need to pay attention to the everyday things that matter to me. Because, I am fast seeing, a mother truly is like a button that helps holds her home and family together. And there is no hope of holding anything if my own tank is empty and my grace resources have run dry.
So in this season I have made a commitment to myself – to clear the to do list of unnecessary clutter, the sort that screams urgent but is actually not really important, and to scribble in some space for me. At the top of the page no less. Exercise, reading, cooking, being still, writing, walking, breathing in the fresh air, playing with my children and looking them in the eye, less digital distractions in favour of more of real life. Little things that add up to a whole lot of heart smiles, at least they do for me.
Because, I am told, I can only love my family and everyone else if I learn how to love myself first. Genuinely. And giving myself the gift of time to myself might seem indulgent, but I think I will be better able to indulge and enjoy everyone else if I do it.
So hold me accountable, ask me how I am doing. And let me know what you do to make your own heart smile in the midst of your own everyday adventures.